Cupid Works In Wierd Ways
by Nate Grey
Summary: A member of Gen X falls for Jubilee...sort of. Complete.


Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel Comics, I get nothing.  
  
Summary: An unusual story where a member of Gen X falls for Jubilee...sort of.  
  
Cupid Works In Weird Ways  
  
High above the rest of the amusement park, he got the first real thrill of his life. But maybe it's better to start a bit lower, like at the entrance of the park. The kids of Generation X had just piled out of the van, brimming with excitement. Well, not all of them. Paige, Jono, and Monet had opted to stay at home. That left Angelo to drive the van, and Everett & Jubilee to keep an eye on the smaller kids.  
  
Everett had made the first smart decision of the night. "We should split up for a bit. Jubilee, you take the boys, and I'll take the girls."  
  
Jubilee quickly weighed that in her mind. If Everett had to watch Nicole and Claudette, all she had to do was keep an eye on Artie, Leech, and Franklin. How hard could that be? "Deal, Ev. Meet ya back in here in three hours." She turned to her pint-sized companions. "Okay, boys. What do we do first?"  
  
"Bumper cars!" Franklin shouted.  
  
"Ferris wheel!"  
  
Artie tugged on Jubilee's raincoat as a roller coaster appeared over his head.  
  
"Sorry, guys, but the classic wins. We do bumper cars first." As she herded the three boys toward the midway, Jubilee remembered the conversation she'd had with Sean Cassidy before they left the school.  
  
"Now, keep in mind, lass," he'd said, a concerned look on his face. "Artie's not like the other wee ones. He can't speak, so he can't cry out for help or tell ye verbally what he wants. Ye must watch him at all times. Are we clear?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Jubilee had muttered, an annoyed look on her face. "Can we leave the school sometime before the park closes, Sean?"  
  
Jubilee blinked and glanced up to see that Artie was following two boys. However, they weren't Leech & Franklin. They were wearing similar clothes, but Artie was so excited about being in the park that he hadn't even noticed. He would probably follow them all the way home if she didn't stop him.  
  
Instead of screaming or yelling like some of the others might have done, Jubilee simply placed two fingers in her mouth and blew. The resulting whistle was so piercing that one would almost have to be death not to hear it. Instantly, three little faces popped up in front of her.  
  
"What's wrong, Jubes?" Franklin asked. "Why'd you blow the whistle?"  
  
"Artie here almost walked off with a couple of strangers. From now on, nobody goes anywhere alone. If ya go, a buddy goes with ya. And always listen for the whistle if ya get lost. Got it?"  
  
Three heads nodded in agreement.  
  
"Good. Now let's go show these people how Xavier's kids rule the road!" This time, however, Jubilee made sure to grab Artie's hand as she led the boys toward the bumper cars. Artie didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, he gave her a big smile before dragging her after Leech & Franklin.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Leech thinks Artie is thinking too much," Leech said as he drove their bumper car into another.  
  
Artie blinked and looked at his friend. An image of Jubilee's face appeared over Artie's head.  
  
"Leech thinks we should hit Jubilee & Frankie, too."  
  
Artie shook his head angrily and repeated the image, this time with a pink heart next to Jubilee's face.  
  
Leech sighed. "Leech does not think Artie knows much about girls."  
  
An image of Leech dressed as a professor appeared over Artie's head, and there was a hopeful smile on the boy's face to go with it.  
  
"Leech will teach Artie about girls, if Artie will start using words."  
  
"Okay," floated above Artie's head in bold letters.  
  
"First, Artie must find out what Jubilee likes."  
  
Images of all sorts of junk food appeared, followed by comic books, video games, and empty gum wrappers.  
  
"Next, Artie must give Jubilee a gift she likes." A pile of empty gum wrappers and a question mark floated past Leech's face. "No! Must be very good, with lots of...feeling."  
  
A confused look passed over Artie's face, followed by an image of hundreds of kids tugging at Jubilee's raincoat.  
  
Leech sighed and parked the bumper car as the ride ended. "Not touching. Feeling! Like...emotion. Happy feeling."  
  
Artie tried to think of a gift that would make Jubilee have a happy feeling, but he came up with nothing. To emphasize this, an image of Artie as homeless bum with holes in his clothes appeared.  
  
"Leech has an idea. Artie has money?"  
  
Artie pulled a crumpled five dollar bill out of his pocket.  
  
"Good. If Artie waits here, Leech will go get gift for Jubilee. But if Artie moves, he will get in trouble." With that, Leech turned and ran towards a vendor carrying a huge box. A few seconds later, Leech returned with a pink cotton candy swirl. "If Artie gives this to Jubilee, she will have a happy feeling."  
  
The words, "Big happy?" floated over Artie's head.  
  
"No. Little happy. May get Artie a hug."  
  
A huge grin appeared on Artie's face.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Do you see them, Frankie?" Jubilee asked.  
  
"Nope. Maybe they went to another ride, Jubes."  
  
She sighed. "Yeah. Might as well leave 'em."  
  
Franklin looked doubtful. "I think we should find them. Artie   
gets scared without you sometimes."  
  
Jubilee looked down at him. "Say what?"  
  
Franklin looked a bit nervous. "He really likes you. He probably would've rode in your bumper car if Leech hadn't dragged him to another one."  
  
Jubilee considered that for a moment. "Okay, we'll find them first. What's the closest thing to the bumper cars?"  
  
Franklin looked around until he spotted a cotton candy vendor handing a pink swirl to a little boy. Of course, even with the image inducer the boy was wearing, Franklin knew his friend. He pulled Jubilee after him as he followed Leech back to Artie.  
  
"There you guys are! Where ya been hidin'?"  
  
Leech looked at Artie and shrugged.  
  
"Okay," Jubilee said slowly as she looked around. "Well, there's a roller coast nearby, so we'll go to that next. Any objections?"  
  
There were none, but before Jubilee could herd them towards it, she felt a tug on her sleeve. Looking down, she saw Artie. "What is it, short stuff?"  
  
Artie looked nervous for a moment, then held up a pink cotton candy swirl.  
  
Jubilee smiled. "For me?"  
  
Artie nodded quickly and forced a small grin.  
  
"You're a sweet kid, Artie." Jubilee accepted the swirl and bent down to kiss his forehead. "Thanks!" Then she turned to the others. "Okay, let's move out, troops!"  
  
Artie watched them walk off in silence. Then he fainted.  
  
* * * * *  
  
When Artie finally did wake up, his roller coaster car was just finishing the highest climb. He didn't know that, though. It wasn't until he opened his mouth in a soundless scream that it registered.  
  
Jubilee was just finishing her cotton candy when Leech & Franklin walked over, dragging a very dizzy Artie with them. "Hey, what happened   
to the little guy?" she asked, sounding concerned.  
  
"Leech think Artie has weak stomach."  
  
"The ride made him sick, Jubes." Franklin thought for a moment and added, "Maybe he had a bad hot dog or something."  
  
Jubilee carefully picked up Artie. "You eat anything tonight, little man?"  
  
Artie shook his head weakly.  
  
"Good. That means you're barf-free."  
  
"What's a barf?" Leech asked.  
  
Franklin imitated a person throwing up, using a half-empty cup of Coke for the demonstration.  
  
Jubilee rolled her eyes. "Real graphic. Thanks, Frankie."  
  
"No problem. Is Artie gonna be okay?"  
  
Jubilee looked at the boy in her arms. His head was resting on her shoulder, and he appeared to be asleep. "Yeah, he'll be fine. Give him ten minutes and he'll be back on the rides."  
  
As they walked towards the next ride, Frankie leaned over and whispered, "Artie must be really happy right now."  
  
Leech only smiled.   
  
* * * * *  
  
"Artie, wake up!" Franklin said, shaking his friend.  
  
Artie slowly opened his large eyes.  
  
"Finally! Are you okay?"  
  
Artie nodded and tried to remember where he was. When he finally did, an image of Jubilee's face appeared over his head.  
  
"Oh, Jubes went on log ride with Leech."  
  
"Traitor!" floated past Artie's head, followed by an image of Leech in handcuffs.  
  
"Calm down, Artie," Franklin said. "They'll be back soon. Besides, Leech knows you like her. He wouldn't do something like that. C'mon, let's go win some stuff!"  
  
Though Artie was still upset, he allowed Franklin to drag him over to the water gun booth. They stayed there for the better part of ten minutes. Artie managed to win a fuzzy Martian with red eyes, while Franklin won two huge teddy bears that were far too large for them to haul away. They were forced to sit there until Franklin spotted Everett and the twins. Before Artie could stop him, he waved them over.  
  
"Hey, guys! Having fun?" Everett asked.  
  
"Yeah!" Franklin cried. "Look what we won!"  
  
"Nice haul," Everett said approvingly. "Where's Jubilee and Leech?"  
  
"The log ride. They'll be back soon."  
  
While Franklin was busy telling Everett about their night so far, Artie was looking for a place to stash his measly prize, which looked like less than nothing next to Franklin's huge bears. Growing desperate, he finally stuffed it in Claudette's pocket when she wasn't looking. It wouldn't really have mattered if knew, since she never spoke anyway, but Artie didn't want to risk getting caught.  
  
Jubilee and Leech returned a few seconds later, carrying a stuffed gorilla with red fur. While Jubilee began what was sure to be a long story, Leech walked over to Artie and pulled him aside.  
  
"Leech's plan is working. Now all you have to do is ride through the tunnel with Jubilee."  
  
A question mark appeared over Artie's head.  
  
"Never mind. Leech will show you when we get there."  
  
Before Artie could ask why the tunnel was so important, he heard someone calling his name. He turned around to see the twins behind him. There was a slightly annoyed look on Nicole's face as she handed him a rubber spider with hairy legs.  
  
"My sister wants you to have this," she explained, casting a questioning look at Claudette. "Don't ask me why."  
  
Artie slowly took the spider and stared at it closely.  
  
Nicole rolled her eyes and took her sister's hand, dragging her away. "I told you it wouldn't work, but no!" she complained.  
  
Artie shrugged and tucked the spider into his pocket. It was better than a Martian.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Much to Leech's dismay, Jubilee & Everett decided to combine their groups and spend the rest of their time together. Leech claimed that this interfered greatly with his plans, but Artie couldn't figure out why. Jubilee had told them many times that Everett was her "best bud," so Artie didn't see the problem. He was getting a bit confused, though, because every time he turned around, there was Claudette with that blank look on her face. She couldn't help it, of course, but it was starting to get creepy.  
  
However, before Artie knew it, Leech leaned over and told him that the tunnel was coming up next. A goofy grin passed over Artie's face as visions of Jubilee giving him his first real kiss floated through his mind.  
  
"Okay, gang," Jubilee instructed once they reached the tunnel entrance. "For this ride, there's only two people in each boat. Frankie says he'll sit this one out so it'll be even. When the ride's over, if you don't see everyone else, just wait right there and we'll be right behind you."  
  
Artie had planned to hold Jubilee's hand so they wouldn't get separated, but then he saw that there was one door for boys, and one for girls. He was about to rush in, but Leech stopped him and explained they had to watch which girl went in first. Nicole went in first, followed by Claudette, with Jubilee bringing up the rear. Leech then explained that Artie had to be the last one in the tunnel.  
  
Everett led the boys to the door, but they forced him inside first. Leech had forgotten to tell Artie that it was pitch black inside the door, so it was nearly impossible to see at all. However, there was a sudden flash of light, and Artie was able to see that Everett and Leech were still ahead of him.   
  
It seemed to take forever, but finally, it was Artie's turn to go through the tunnel. As he carefully stepped into the boat, he could hear a man nearby telling him to hurry so everyone else could get a chance to ride. Artie quickly sat down, nearly slipping in a puddle of water in the process.  
  
The boat rocked from side to side, then lurched forward without warning. Artie gripped the side, holding on for dear life. He suddenly remembered that Jubilee was supposed to be with him. The lighting was now very dim, so it was hard to make out anything. Artie squinted, and after a few seconds, he could see that the boat was slowly moving forward.  
  
Suddenly, he felt a hand brush against his. Artie's heart leaped into his throat, and he broke out into a cold sweat. Everything that Leech had told him instantly left his brain. There was only one thing on his mind. He was alone with the girl of his dreams. This was his chance to get his first real kiss. Closing his eyes, he slowly leaned over.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The world exploded into a blurry rainbow of bright colors, and the happy screams of the other children entered Artie's ears, bringing him back to the real world. He was still sitting in the boat. His clothes were stained with a combination of sweat and water. It took a few seconds for his head to stop spinning, but when he looked up, he could see everyone waiting for him on solid ground.  
  
"C'mon, little man," Jubilee said, reaching for his hand. "If we hurry, we'll have time for one more ride before we have to go."  
  
Artie took her hand and slowly climbed out of the boat. Memories of the past few minutes flashed in his head. He definitely remembered kissing her at least six times before he passed out.  
  
"So, how'd you like the tunnel, Artie?" Everett asked.  
  
Artie grinned as a huge smiley face appeared over his head.  
  
"Okay, guys," Jubilee announced as they neared the front of the park. "Each of you has a choice. You can either ride the merry-go-round or the Ferris wheel."  
  
Franklin, Leech, Nicole, and Claudette all wanted to ride the merry-go-round. Only Artie wanted to go on the Ferris wheel.  
  
"How you wanna do this, Jubes?" Everett asked.  
  
"You guys go on. I'll hang with Artie," she volunteered.  
  
Artie's little heart was beating faster than it ever had before. Not only had Jubilee kissed him, but now she wanted be alone with him...again! Could the night possibly get any better?! He was so excited, he barely saw Leech flash him a thumbs up.  
  
Jubilee held Artie's hand as they hurried over to the Ferris wheel line. "Ever rode one of these, little guy?" she asked.  
  
Artie nodded. Of course, the last time, he'd only been riding with Leech. This time, he'd be riding with the most important person in the universe. If he was lucky, maybe he'd even get another kiss! The very idea made his head swim with happiness.  
  
Jubilee gave the ride attendant two tickets and pulled Artie along with her, but the man suddenly blocked her path. "Hold it. This kid's too short for the ride."  
  
Artie's face fell.   
  
"Aw, let the kid ride, dude," Jubilee pleaded. "He's got his heart set on this!"  
  
The man shook his head. "Nope. I got a job to do here, girlie."  
  
An evil grin appeared on Jubilee's face, and there was a blinding flash of bright lights.   
  
The ride attendant rubbed his eyes, wondering what had just happened.  
  
Jubilee grabbed Artie's hand and dove into the nearest car. "Stay low, short stuff," she whispered. A few more seconds passed, and the safety bar locked into place. Then the car slowly began to move.  
  
Jubilee held up a finger and pointed it at the safety bar. One of her pafs appeared, and she pushed the bar away from them with little strain. "Always did hate those things."  
  
Artie stood up on the seat and peered out of the car. The ground was now far below them.  
  
"Enjoying the view?" Jubilee asked.  
  
Artie nodded and sat down beside her. He waited until she turned her head to take in the view, then his eyes dropped to see her hand on the seat. Taking a deep breath, he slowly inched his hand across the seat, toward hers. Just a few more centimeters, and he'd be touching her hand again. Just a few--  
  
Jubilee suddenly turned around and looked directly at his tiny, trembling hand, and then his face, which instantly broke out in a cold sweat. Understanding dawned on her, and a smile appeared on her lips. "Are you comin' onto me, little man?" she asked suspiciously.  
  
Artie's eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head.  
  
"Uh huh. So you weren't gonna try and hold my hand, right?"  
  
Artie shook his head again.  
  
"So this wasn't an attempt to get me alone with you?"  
  
Artie shook his head a third time.  
  
"Okay. In that case, I wanna show you somethin'." Jubilee braced her hands and legs against the sides of the car. "This is how we used to ride back in SoCal." She silently counted to three, and then began to rock the car as hard as she could.  
  
Artie nearly went crashing into the front of the car, but he had to admit that it was a lot more fun than just sitting there. He copied Jubilee's position, counted to three with her, and then rocked. The car gave a loud groan of protest as they shook from side to side.  
  
Jubilee giggled and looked down at him. "Y'know what's even better? Waitin' until you get to the very top of the ride, and then rockin' it. Wanna try?"  
  
Artie nodded quickly and hopped up on the seat, gripping the safety bar.  
  
Jubilee peered outside of the car. "Wait for it...NOW!"  
  
The car shook violently under their strength this time, and groaned even louder than before, nearly drowning out Jubilee's delighted cries. Suddenly, it jerked unexpectedly, and Artie felt his feet leave the seat. He seemed to be tumbling in the air for a few seconds before Jubilee's arms snagged him by the waist. They both landed hard on the seat, pain shooting through their sides for a few tense seconds. The only sound was their loud pants as they struggled to maintain their breathing.  
  
Then, Jubilee began to laugh. "Artie, dude! I've never seen anyone cartwheel in mid-air like that! You are, like, without a doubt, the coolest kid I know!"  
  
Artie grinned, and then realized that her arms were still locked around him. He settled against her, listening to the rapid beating of both their hearts.  
  
"Hey, Artie?" she whispered in his ear.  
  
A question mark appeared over his head.  
  
"You're cute for a kid, but maybe you should try to date within the same grade. And next time you need advice on girls, don't go to Leech. Come to me, okay?"  
  
Artie nodded slowly.  
  
Jubilee smiled and looked up as the car slowed down. "Time to bail, little man." She sat up, pulling Artie into her lap until the car came to a stop. Then they climbed out and went to find the others.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Leech bombarded Artie with questions about the ride as soon as they were back in the van. But Artie wouldn't tell him anything, and there was a strange smile on his face.  
  
A few minutes later, Angelo pulled up in the academy's driveway. "Last stop, mi amigos. Everybody out!"  
  
Artie hopped out of the van and headed for the door when Jubilee called his name. He turned around and walked back to her.  
  
Jubilee squatted down so they were at eye level. "Look, short stuff. I'm not doin' this just so you'll have somethin' to tell your little green buddy. I'm doin' this cuz you're a sweet kid, and I like you lots." She cupped his face in her hands and gently kissed his cheek.  
  
Artie swooned and nearly fell over, but she gripped his arm firmly.  
  
"Remember what I told you, okay?" she said.  
  
Artie nodded and went inside, grinning as he touched his cheek. he hadn't gotten far when the twins appeared.  
  
"Artie, my sister wants to give you something again," Nicole said, looking annoyed, as usual.  
  
Claudette placed a finger on his neck and pressed gently.  
  
Artie felt a warmth go through his body and gasped in shock as Claudette's eyes began to glow. Then, he slowly touched his throat and coughed. He could hear himself! Artie blinked. He could talk again!  
  
"How do you feel?" Nicole asked.  
  
"F-Fine," Artie whispered, not used to the sound of his own voice. "T-Thank y-you, C-Claud-dette."  
  
"You're welcome," Claudette replied quietly.  
  
Nicole smiled and placed her sister's hand in Artie's. "I'll leave you two alone now." She quickly ran off.  
  
Claudette blushed. "I really liked ridin' with you in the tunnel."  
  
Artie blinked slowly. It suddenly dawned on him that Jubilee had to squat to kiss him, or pick him up. Claudette was just a few inches taller than him. "H-How come you n-never t-talked before?" he asked.  
  
Claudette shrugged. "I didn't wanna talk 'til now."  
  
"Can you w-wait here for a w-while? I need to t-talk to Jubilee."  
  
Claudette nodded.  
  
Artie quickly kissed her cheek and ran off to find Jubilee. He had a feeling that he was going to need lots of help with this.  
  
The End! 


End file.
